There is a morsel truth in all of the above, but the largest reason is something that I think many artists and writers have come across at some point: not feeling ready. Surely there is still so much for me to learn, so much to improve upon, one more workshop to take?
I have long often felt on the fringe of “almost there, but not quite”. While some may say that this is a good thing as I’m making sure to dot all of the i’s and cross all of the t’s before continuing on, it can also become a dangerous trap as one becomes mired in always striving for perfection. Instead of submitting artwork and long-ago written manuscripts, I find myself once again putting final touches on paintings that I once considered “finished”, re-writing that manuscript “once last time”, and only continuing on the hamster wheel instead of moving forward. My website, alas, also has sat for months due to “not being ready” in my eyes.
Yet instead of beating myself up for things I have done in the past, I am choosing to look ahead, not behind; move forward, and not stay mired in The Land of Not Ready Yet. That is not to say that I will stop striving, revising or always try to do my best; it means that I am ready to start believing again in myself and my work…and it means that I’m ready to start submitting!
And it means that I’m ready to stop looking at my above comic panel that I created for my first blog post and notice that the text appears a little blurry; surely I should try re-sizing the original again for the tenth time, try re-working it in Photoshop? Or should I just…hit submit? I can’t think of a better time to take new steps forward than in a new year!